Smallidge

14 June 2026

Thank you to all whose condolences are helping us through this difficult time in our life together. As the extroverted half of the couple, I am much more likely to run into you at Front/Main, Hannaford's, Selah Tea, Wild Clover Cafe or the Muskie Community Center. Your personal support, compassion and empathy is a great help; we are taking care of ourselves and just trying to understand how this could have happened. We know we are not unique and we are discovering that we are not alone in this type of sadness, which seems to be impacting so many people in the U.S.

We all grieve differently and there is no regular timeline for grief. I even turned to the internet to learn more about grief because his death affected me more strongly than I anticipated. The browser is now using AI to show results from my query first!

IMAGE: Search results from Google Chrome browser, assisted by AI (Gemini).

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As I return to "normal", I have turned to comfort foods and YouTube to manage my stress and my sadness. Here are just some of the videos I have watched (or started watching) which bear on our recent conversations. In the interest of time, I have not organized them particularly well, but I have tried to group them into chunks to make it easier for you to find the ones that interest you. Needless to say, I found them all interesting. I'm only sorry I did not have time to watch more of them (and to watch all of the ones that I could not finish because I need some sleep to be able to function during the day).

While I don't necessarily agree with the content in all of the videos, I think you will notice a trend and a theme in my selections. We can always talk about it when next we meet. In a perfect world (with a 36-hour day) I would share my thoughts and reactions to each of the videos (and have time and capacity to share the ones I excluded in the interest of time).

Psychology

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Philosophy and Religion

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Artificial Intelligence

IMAGE: Detective Comics 210 (1954) with cover art by Winslow Mortimer, one of my favorite Batman artists.
SOURCE: Pinterest

DetectiveComics210-1954

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                   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ThWd8_swWaw
                   Graham Platner Primary Night Victory Remarks
                   C-SPAN - 06/09/2026 [22:18]
                   
                   https://www.nytimes.com/2026/06/10/us/politics/maine-slow-vote-count.html
                   
                   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Mn-TNLwQys
                   Is the AI Boom About to COLLAPSE?
                   MS NOW - Why Is This Happening? with Chris Hayes - 06/09/2026 [58:40]
                 

Politics

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History and Archaeology

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31 May 2026

Talking to Grief

Ah, Grief, I should not treat you
like a homeless dog
who comes to the back door
for a crust, for a meatless bone.
I should trust you.

I should coax you
into the house and give you
your own corner,
a worn mat to lie on,
your own water dish.

You think I don't know you've been living
under my porch.
You long for your real place to be readied
before winter comes. You need
your name,
your collar and tag. You need
the right to ward off intruders,
to consider
my house your own
and me your person
and yourself
my own dog.

- Denise Levertov

With thanks to Emanuel for sharing this poem.

29 May 2026

While I was living my life "normally" ...

... and working on a letter to the editor on behalf of the Graham Platner campaign, from out of nowhere came the news that my stepson had ended his life [see the obituary]. While we were still reeling from that news, we got hit with a pest infestation (which we are still in the midst of cleaning up with help from Emma at Northern Pest Solutions and ORKIN).

The fickle finger of fate was not quite finished with us yet, though; my nephew died a few days ago, plunging my side of the family into a deeper wave of sadness. Life is short enough without living it to full measure. So much talent wasted; these two young men just could not find a way to get through their dark moments and gave up the struggle.

I don't usually bring so much personal news to this place, but I felt it only fair to warn you that I might not be at 100% of my cheerful self for a while. That does not mean that I have curled up in a ball and stopped thinking and watching, but instead of being an active participant in the campaigns of my two favorites for Governor of Maine and U.S. Senator from Maine to replace Susan Collins, I am cheering them on from the sidelines, contributing what funds I can afford to their campaigns. I was even too worn out to attend the rally in Orono!

I have moved Aren's obituary to a separate page. We are working our way through the bureaucracy with the help of relatives and a lawyer to clean up what Aren left behind. I should mention that friends and family have been very supportive as we work our way through our grief. There don't seem to be any easy ways to grieve; grief just happens to you (differently for everyone, apparently). I may include more thoughts about grief in the CAT MAN DO section.

It will take time to make all these adjustments to the website, of course, and time is something that is very hard to find in the best of times; even more scarce these days. I am stealing a few moments to pen these lines while having breakfast and getting a mocha latte with oat milk for a very special wife.